The end of my childhood & the beginning of another

As many of you know, I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan & this weekend was the release of the final film in the HP series. I'm a true, die hard fan meaning I read the books before the craze of the movies. I read the first book in 5th grade and the final book after I graduated high school. As I grew up, Harry grew up and became a huge staple in my childhood. Even though the book series ended 4 years ago, this final film marked the end of my childhood. It was a bittersweet feeling sitting in the theatre, awaiting for the movie to start knowing this would be the last time I would attend a midnight premiere or be able to see the characters I've come to love on the big screen. It's so much more than a book or a movie though. As weird as it may seem, the characters have become my friends over the years. We've grown up together, I've experienced their highs & lows, and related to them. After the movie, I was so sad. I felt like apart of my childhood had just died and it was true. Although I am sad that I won't be able to look forward to another book or movie involving Harry, I'm looking forward to sharing such a huge part of my childhood with Elijah. I'm planning on rereading the series by reading them to him. Not anytime soon, but once we begin reading bedtime stories Harry will be the first pick. When I was a toddler, my mother's friend read me the Hobbit every night. I think that was the book that sparked my imagination and my love for fantasy novels. I want to give him the same experience and allow him to find his own love for reading. So as I say goodbye to my childhood, I embrace my sons. I hope he will love the books as much as I have. If not, as least I can share that special part of my childhood with him and no matter what "the stories we love best, live in us forever." -J.K. Rowling.

(From Left to Right: Me & my fellow Potterhead/bestie, Lany. We've gone to the last 4 films together. Me 5 months pregnant with Elijah. And the most recent, me before the final midnight premiere.)

Speaking of the little one...

He is 4 months old today!

(yes, that is an HP onesie :P)

He's growing SO fast!! It seems like just yesterday he was a little, fragile bundle of love. Now he's vocal, kicking, chewing, drooling, sitting, rolling & sucking his precious little thumb. He's still my bundle of love but not so little anymore. He even holds his own bottle!! Before I know it, he'll be all grown up and won't need his momma anymore :( Sike, he'll always be my little momma's boy. And he's looking more & more like his Daddy every day. I tell people that he has his momma's eyes & his Daddy's looks. I just love everything about him.  

Getting Fit

You may have noticed on Facebook that I am attempting to get back in shape. I started a boot camp class 2 weeks ago, and have only made 2 classes out of the 2 weeks. Last week was more of a struggle because Nick was going out of town & Eli wasn't feeling well. But now I feel worse about my body than before. I read in all the books during my pregnancy the changes your body goes through adjusting to carrying a baby before, during & after. Yet, for some reason I thought I would be one of the lucky ones & the weight would just shed off after birth and during nursing. WRONG.

I gained 50 lbs during my pregnancy. I'm not proud of it and my biggest regret was not exercising while pregnant. Everyone warned me, "Be careful what you eat.", "Make sure your walking." But I told myself, this is the one time I can get away with eating what I want and people won't judge me. Little did I know that I would be paying for it ten fold afterwards. I have lost 20 lbs since Eli was born but have yet to lose anymore. I've been watching what I've been eating but I haven't been hardcore about it. Signing up for the bootcamp classes was supposed to motivate me but somehow it intimidated me. It made me realize how out of shape I really am and the long road ahead of me. I've come to terms that I won't ever have the body I once had. Some women bounce back from pregnancy like it was nothing, others look better than before baby. Not in my case, but that's okay because the end result was way worth it. I can accept that my body won't be the same, but I won't compromise that I always have to be this way. I may not be able to erase stretch marks, but I can lose the unnecessary weight & that's what I plan to do.

I'm not writing to feel sorry for myself but more so I can look back on this during my journey to getting back in shape as I reminder of how far I've come. My goal is to lose 50 lbs, do 30 mins of cardio a day and attend at least 3 bootcamp classes a week. I purchased 2 months of classes in advance so I have 7 weeks of classes left to go. I will be updating my progress along the way. My motivation is feeling better about myself and setting an good example for Eli.

Today is Day 1 of Getting Fit. Off to Bootcamp class I go!

Elephants, tigers, and lions, oh my!

So the circus is coming to town and I know it's forever away but its got me thinking about Eli's first birthday party. As soon as I began my elephant fetish for his nursery, I knew that I wanted his first birthday to be circus themed. I mean, who doesn't love the circus? It's so fun, colorful and there are so many creative decor possibilities! Not to mention the awesome goodies...cotton candy, popcorn & peanuts! I may have to go while the circus is in town. (for research of course! ;))

Call me crazy but I just can't wait!!

(I'm a party planner...can you blame me!)

Sweet Summertime

Summertime just isn't official until you put on your swimsuit for the first time. So this weekend we officially started summer by taking our first beach trip. Growing up, I have the fondest memories of the beach. My mother loved the beach and passed that love onto me and my sister. I hope that Eli will grow to love it too.

Our little Panama Jack

Mimi & Munchkin

Fast asleep to the sound of real waves.

Hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th!

Happy 3 Months & First Father's Day

Happy 3 Months (&oneweek) to My Munchkin Man.

He's perfect.

Doctors words.

@ 3 months:

13 lbs 2 oz.

23 3/4 inches long

I can't believe my beautiful, little boy is already 3 months. I don't know where time has gone but I wouldn't mind if it could just slow down. It's funny I always imagine what Eli will be like when he's older...will he love to read like I did as a child, will he learn to play guitar like his daddy, what sports will he want to play...I catch myself imagining and have to stop myself because this moment here and now will be gone tomorrow. And every day he'll grow closer to that little boy I imagined. I love the little things about him right now. How he mimicks the sounds we make. His smirkish smile. How he gobbles away at his little minature hands (newest development). How he constantly kicks like he's got somewhere to go. How badly he wants to laugh. These are the things that I love today and I'll miss tomorrow.

Speaking of firsts, Nick celebrated his first Father's day this past weekend. It was a very uneventful Father's day spent with family but it was a success nonetheless.

Nick is such an amazing father to Elijah.

He has the biggest heart & most of it is filled with love for our son.

I'm so grateful to have both of them in my life.

They fill me with such love & joy.

A Blessing in the Rough

Today has been one of the more difficult days as a mother. Eli seems to be experiencing some growing pains so he does a lot of eating and sleeping, and in between he wants to be constantly held. Which limits my ability to do anything. At the end of the day, I was impatient, irritated and not so much fun to be around. But after a hot bath, I've had time to reflect on today and my attitude lately.

A fellow blogger and new mommy, Elisa Farrow, had a post this week about how being a mom is hard but many things could be harder. I am fortunate to have a healthy baby boy who is really and truly the best baby I could have ever asked for. Aside from today, he's always happy, rarely cries and the cutest thing to look at. He brightens every day and is the joy of my life. There are so many other mothers out there who have not been as fortunate as me, and unfortunately I get caught up in the moment and forget to see how blessed I really am. I've been guilty of allowing one bad moment ruin my whole day and I really hope to turn that around. It not only effects me as a mother but as a wife as well.

I know I've talked about how new my marriage is, but regardless of how long we've been married...Parenting is a true test of love for a marriage. The pastor from my church, The Waters, has been doing a sermon series on marriage and I haven't really had a chance to really soak in all that it has to offer but one thing that really stuck out to me is that we are husband and wife before we are parents. If we can't learn to communicate and love each other, then when the time comes for baby bird to fly the coop - we're screwed. And that is the last thing I want for my marriage. I've really been struggling to maintain a positive attitude lately and its been detrimental for my relationship. I've been down on myself because of how my body has changed post-baby and probably have had too much idle time, and honestly have become lazy when it comes to communicating.But the first step is admitting it, so here I am. I've witnessed the effects of bad communication and laziness can have on a marriage, and vowed to myself that I would never make the same mistakes.

So this is me airing my most intimate thoughts and faults to hold myself accountable to being more appreciative of my baby boy, to be less harsh on myself and try harder to be a better wife to my husband. Hopefully putting this into words and out in public will help me to be accountable. Because when it comes down to it, there is nothing bad about my life. I have a beautiful home, a loving family, loyal friends, a good education and a prospering job. What more could I girl ask for?

2 Months & Graduation

Elijah, Eli, Munchkin, Piglet

@ 2 months

11 lbs 1 oz.

23 1/4 inches

So time has literally flown by since Eli was born.

I can't believe he is already 2 months old. It seems just yesterday we were in the hospital seeing him for the first time.

Now he's smiling, cooing and kicking away.

Every day he steals my heart away.

He is perfection.

And it looks like he's going to have my eyes :)

Lock up your daughters, my son is going to be a lady killer.

In other news, during my absence...I GRADUATED COLLEGE!

Just this last Saturday, I crossed the stage ending my 17 year old relationship with school.

It still hasn't really set in that I won't be going back to school this fall.

I've spent more than half my life in pursuit of this goal and now it's over.

I can't lie, I was dreading walking. I think apart of me wasn't ready to close that chapter because the future is so unknown.

As of now my only job is to be the best mother I can be to Eli. Which is a hard enough job in itself.

I'm going to enjoy my summer...reading books that I want to read, working towards losing my baby weight and whatever else comes my way.

I'm nervous about keeping myself busy only because I'm the type of person that goes a million miles a minute. But I have faith that it will all work out. I mean I've come this far right?

Grad school has crossed my mind but after the hell of a semster I just had, I really need a break from school for awhile.

Since I missed Eli's 1 month post, here's a few of my favorite photos from his newborn photoshoot around his 1 month. Enjoy!

Cute as a button.

The Josephs.

Daddy and Eli. This melts my heart.

I.love.him.

Keep posted for my summer adventures. Soon to come :)