This is my story

My photo
New mommy to my son, Elijah Ryan. Wife to my husband and best friend, Nick. New homeowner and HGTV obsessed. Wedding Planner for Two Be Wed. Avid Pinner. Lover of writing, books, movies, vampires (not the Twilight kind) and Harry Potter. Enjoys lazy days, coffee and spending time with my little family. Here to share my tales of mommyhood, marraige, love and life.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

"Mod-itional" Kitchen Inspiration

You know you've grown up when all you want to do is watch HGTV and shop for home goods. My mind has been swarming with ideas for the new house and I've driven Nick mad with all my decor talk. So I decided to unleash it here instead for the sake of my sanity and my marriage.

I've also become a big fan of garage sales (another sign of me getting old) and was thrilled to come across my new kitchen table at one this weekend! I've been searching for a farmhouse table for the kitchen but they are hard to come by and can be very expensive if bought new. Our current table is so nice that we rarely use it so a resale find is perfect for us because it's already worn in and will withstand children (or so I hope).

Tada! Our new table:
{Same colors but oval instead of a rectangle.}

As soon as I saw it, it was fate. I haven't quite sold Nick on it but I'm hoping it will grow on him. My plan is to sand it down and reseal the natural wood table top. I really want a natural finish so I'm going to skip staining it. Then I'm going to change the hunter green to black. I thought about white but I don't want it to be too country and I don't think Nick will go for anything too colorful so black it is.

These are some of my inspirations:
farm table and chairs

chandelier + farmhouse table

I love the mixture of new & old, modern & traditional (or as HGTV would say "Mod-itional") and bringing in the farmhouse table does just that. Our new kitchen has dark espresso cabinets making it feel modern but the tan granite counterops and the addition of the farmhouse table will put the traditional in "mod-itional". (I really like that word, can you tell?) The table came with four chairs that I plan on painting black as well. If I had the choice (and the money), I would love these metal cafe chairs but they are ridiculously priced, $1,000 for ONE chair!! I know I have expensive taste but that's just wasting money. What I really love about them is the industrial style and how they contrast with the farmhouse table.

But since I plan on using the chairs that came with the table, I decided I would bring in the industrial feel with these alumnium bar stools from Target that are a similar style but at a much more affordable price.

Aluminum Dining Stool
 I also wanted to add a bench for additional seating and to add to the casual dining feel. Target wins again with this farmhouse dining bench that goes perfect with the table. I'd like to add a fun fabric + cushion to the bench and paint the legs black to match the rest.
Farmhouse Dining Bench
That about sums it up, for the kitchen at least. I really like the direction I'm going in but we'll see how it all turns out once these ideas are turned into a reality. Or remain a fantasy...that all depends on what Nick thinks of my "mod-itional" ideas.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Mother's Struggles + 7 months

7 months ago this little man came into this world and changed my life completely.
He gave me the greatest purpose of all, being his mother.
Motherhood is just like any other journey, it has its ups & downs, its peaks and valleys.

In the last few weeks there have been more valleys than peaks. With Nick gone and the two of us sick, it's gotten the worst of me.
I've felt frustrated, anxious and defeated often.
And as awful as it sounds, I've felt resentment towards my husband for not being around, even though he's gone working to provide for our family. These feelings have only made the distance harder on both of us and caused a lot of unnecessary arguments.
I'm not proud of it but that's the truth.
I've let these emotions eat at me and then I'm left feeling guilty and selfish.
My saving grace has been fellow mommy friends & bloggers and knowing that I'm not the only one.
Every mother struggles, new & old, because being a mother or parent is not easy.

It's supposed to be hard. Your life no longer revolves around yourself, instead around your child.
You have to become selfless, patient and full of unconditional love.
Your choices & actions mold him into the person he will become.
It's a huge responsibility but also a blessing as well.
And the last thing I want is for my son to learn resentment, anger and selfishness from me.

All these emotions have caused me to stray away from my spiritual relationship as well.
I've felt under attack and haven't attended church in weeks.
Again, not proud but it's the truth.
I know God doesn't want me to feel these things because he has given me the blessing of becoming a mother and an angel of a son.
I believe this because in the last week I've heard several stories that have really put things in perspective.
There are women out there who have lost children, struggled to have children and those with children fighting to live.
I should be grateful because not only was I able to have a child, but a healthy, happy and beautiful baby boy.
When I look at him, all those feelings disappear and I am in awe of what a blessing he truly is.
I know I can't overcome these negative emotions without acknowledging them and turning them over to God.
So I am openly admitting my convictions, for the sake of my own conscious but also in the hope that it might reach someone else who has been feeling the same.
I know there will be days when it will be hard and I will feel defeated but there will be more days that I will be grateful and happy for this journey of motherhood & everything that comes with it -the good & the bad.
Because in the end, the good always trumps the bad.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Life as of lately

It's been a whirlwind of a month. It feels like September came and went. I'm not complaining though because that means we're only closer to moving into the new house and it's finally my favorite time of the year...fall! I love everything about fall. Boots, scarves, layers and pumpkin spice lattes.

So far the weather has been absolutely beautiful so I have a feeling this fall is going to be heavenly. I'm not in much a writing mood so I'll just post a few pics of life as of lately.

The house is coming along beautifully. It's really starting to look like an actual house. Within a week it went from slab, frame to roof. I'm glad I got to see all of the stages because it's going to make for a killer scrapbook. As of now, the expected completion date has moved up to beginning of December so we will for sure be spending Christmas in our new home!

And this little man turned 6 months. He's officially crawling, grabbing, spitting, and I'm pretty sure I've heard him say "momma" at least once. I can't believe it's hardly been half a year! Time really does fly. I love the stage he's in right now though. His personality shines through everyday. I'm so lucky to spend every minute of every day with him so I never miss a beat.

I don't think I could ever love something as much as him.
Lots of love in my life lately. love, love, love.

And before I go... Eli's Halloween Costume:
Lil' Lion Baby Costume by Incharacter - 6003

Can you imagine my little babe in this adorable costume? Pretty much the cuddliest lion you've ever seen.
 I can't wait for professional pictures this month!